the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
we ran out of wine so you tried to make some by throwing grapes and nail polish remover in a blender.
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
Also, last night I had a dream that I was in a victoria's secret fashion show and they made me wear a t-shirt over my lingerie. Spring dieting begins now.
He barely got in the door before she began to shriek like a banshee and punch him. His rainbow wig is still hanging from the front porch as a "warning to all other clowns".
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
I don't even care that it's before church. I feel like God actually wants me to have this shower beer.
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
Hey, I'm just seeing how you're doing and letting you know I fucked your dad last night. Don't fuck with me.
What's the best way to tell a guy he can call me when his impending divorce is finalized?
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
Randomize
