I must be too annoying 4 u.
it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
Taking my tights off outside the club to give them to the homeless man was my contribution to humanity. The fact that it was snowing just made me feel like superman.
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
She's like the Michael Jordan of alcoholism
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
i don't know what part of 'duct tape bikini waxes' seemed even a little okay in our drunk minds, but i'm never drinking with your sister again
Just got escorted to my 7:45 class by an old woman because I was too hungover to not realize I was four floors too high.
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
you had me at "meet me in the bathroom"
Woke up this morning with a plate of ravioli in my bed. Who says being single can't be fun?
You don't make any sense
TEQUILA
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