she just fell off the couch. onto a bag of pretzels. her face resembled a cat that just swallowed a sock.
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
I don't know which is a more impressive stolen object. The couch from a sheer logistical viewpoint, or the parking meter because i'm pretty sure that's a federal offence.
You come home the day the world is supposed to end. Well played Mayans.
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that
Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
I went out to dinner with the girls thinking I'd be home early. Instead I ended up in the Englishman's hotel room. Long Live The Queen.
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
I just opened my travel toothbrush holder and it smelled like vodka...maybe a vodka cranberry. This says a lot about my vacations.
Randomize
