Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
Man, jail baloney is awful.
He says I tipped the waitress ten dollars because she "smelled like pigs in a blanket."
Well pretty sure I lost 3 of my best friends in one week. Remember when I said I wasn't sure if I was gonna be a better person or a more despicable one in 2012. Despicable wins.
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
I can't believe we really went to walgreens to use their cork opener, bounced and drank a bottle of wine in a sketchy corner...
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
Actually I really wish that I was drinking so I could ask him for breakup sex and then later blame it on my alcoholic tendencies. Maybe tomorrow instead.
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