he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
Things I have that belong to you: shorts, headband, bra, purse, chinese food, vodka, and blood on my jeans. Happy homecoming.
I feel bad for the cleaning lady. All you can smell is latex and Jaegermeister
Definitely a Xanax and Jell-O shots kinda day...except my Jell-O shots are really just a big bowl of a Jell-O shot that I use a spoon to eat.
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
I'm pretty sure I just gave myself third degree burns from punching my pizza.
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
I just need to find a good handlebar mustache to sit on until I'm over that beard
Preface: Im drunk. But i think id make a good assasin. That is all.
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
Randomize
