i just fingered the ice cream at home instead of getting a spoon
been there done that
I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
So many people have lost their virginity on my futon... I think it is only the right thing to bronze it and put it on display
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
Someone brought brownies to work and I was skeptical to eat one then I remembered I was at work and there is no way there is weed in them. Haha I'm blaming you for that.
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
Thanks for having me over last night. Sorry I licked rum off your kitchen floor.
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
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