...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
Oh you don't have to buy a shower curtain, I stole the one from her bathroom. It has dolphins on it.
he slipped a picture of a kangaroo under my door that said "im sorry" on the back and passed out on my lawn.. who the fuck is this kid?
Whiskey and I have a long and stories tradition of excellence
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
Why would you call when you knew I'd be having sex!?
Why would you answer?
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
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