That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
tell me why there is a bowl of oatmeal from starbucks in my purse
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
I'd like to thank you for ensuring I didn't die. Id also like to show you the most impressive bruise you will perhaps ever see
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
my god I love twenty year old dicks
He doesn't have an existential crisis after we have really violent sex now which is nice
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
Listen, all I’m saying is, if you’re lying naked next to a hot chick, you don’t start discussing dental hygiene.
Randomize
