i looked at dads computer and apparently he was looking at job ads on craigslist and the only one clicked that turned purple said "GET PAID TO MASTURBATE"
sorry about calling you the devil all night.
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
Randomize
