True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
Finished my senior thesis. How am I celebrating you ask? By drinking gas station white zif out of an empty candle holder by myself. I fucking deserve to graduate.
The engagement ring savings account is now the strippers and gin savings account. What are you doing tonight?
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
I bought an american flag today and by god im gonna fuck someone on it
He ripped off my pantyhose and all I could think was, "oh no those were clinic-appropriate!" That's what I get for ditching a continuing education meeting to go hook up with my scuba instructor.
Do I lose at life if I cry in a grocery store while buying a pregnancy test?
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
Wellp yesterday was spent absurdly hungover and today was spent in planned parenthood so I hope that's not an indication of the year to come
dying me prepared for dead me... i woke up with my laptop open to the last snl episode, a bottle of gatorade, advil and a bag of chocolate all next to me
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
Okay first of all fuck you and everything you stand for because Taco Bell is amazing.
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
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