we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
I actually just cleaned easy glide lube off my desk. My life has gone way down hill since I met you.
This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
i've noticed that whenever i have to ask myself "would i be doing this if i was sober?" the answer is probably no.
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
We are two peas in an std pod
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
He told me he felt like he was just pistol-whipped by Testicle Man.
this is a preemptive text before you call me freaking out: i have your keys and your car is parked safely a block down from your apartment.
you are a goddess
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
You know it was a good dinner party when one of the guests broke their finger and no one can remember how it happened.
Randomize
