WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
Just saw a man being put through a dui test on the side of the road... it was noon and he was on a bicycle. God bless texas.
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
You're not invited to the wedding. They don't want you starting a "who's fucked the bride the most" contest.
There is no amount of alcohol that can make me forget I had a Jimmy Kimmel sex dream
we were hooking up and then he goes "you can touch my penis" and i laughed too hard to do anything. no second date.
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
Anyhow, I am sorry for being obnoxious about wanting more sex and forcing you to eat lunchmeat off of my ginormous nipples. I knew that you weren't going to succumb to my pushy demands
They're basically the Kennedys. This is the family I fucked in to. I'm so proud of my vagina as much as it feels shitty for my heart.
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
Look, road flare archery was agreed on. We both accepted it was a shit idea sober, but did it drunk anyway.
were you aware we were supposed to be taking care of her hamster this weekend?
Randomize
