i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
How'd it feel making her break her religion?
He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
I'm watching a Sinbad stand up special. Not even drugs can make this funny.
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
I just dumped out my gym water bottle and filled it with white wine. This is the end.
He's spent his last 3 years working at Urban Outfitters. No, I'm not sad I missed out on a life of mustaches, the dollar menu and shitty scarves.
Apparently someone switched my cash for monopoly money after midnight so I couldn't get any more drinks at the bar
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
Randomize
