His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
Dude, you need to come clean your dates vomit off the ceiling. What in the hell were you guys doing?!
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
If I showed up at your door with pizza and a bottle of tequila wearing nothing but chaps and a fireman helmet, would you send me away?
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
You were so drunk Last night you asked for your glasses so you could read the directions on a band aid
Randomize
