Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
Oh god I can't handle any more dudes. I just walk of shamed to work wearing a guy's boxers and a life jacket. This summer is going to kill me.
It was sunday, you had a camel back of bloody mary stumbling around a dog park with no dog.
I'm here to help build your repertoire of drunken shenanigans and I should have been arrested stories
Is it appropriate to put "Mommy and Daddys shitfaced-ness that led to Aubrey" on a birth announcement?
Well you two just had a kid in the middle of college, I dont think anyone will notice.
Thanks bro
Drinking gin at a party, riding a giant inflatable walrus all around the living room.
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
Just turned your apartment into a democracy and were voting on who takes shots next
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
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