They told me I spent half the night at the club with one ball hanging out my shorts. Apparently it got me 1 free drink, 2 numbers, and thrown out.
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
I was barred out and drunk as fuck locked out at 3am in my Indian costume. It was literally freezing outside. I laid down on the concrete and made a bonfire with dry leaves. Then proceeded to ask.the.bonfire nicely to "please dont go out". Drunk me went strait up survival mode.
Please. I don't care how shitty his fake life story was. As horny as I was I just wanted the prettiest man possible in case I accidentally got pregnant. He had blue eyes.
Cry into your wine glass and then drink the tears, it's like the fountain of youth
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
Turns out the creepy dude who bought us tequila shots was the friend of a friend who then got us a table and several large bottles of champagne.
Never judge a man by his mustache.
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
I'm so hungover I can't taste anything
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
Randomize
