I'm covered in pickle juice. Why do you people leave me alone?
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
My mom and I are having a "yay I don't have herpes" shopping trip day
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
i remember you telling me to take a shower, brush my teeth, go get back in bed w her, and "just do what i was born to do." and as soon as i stopped yacking i did just that. you saved my birthday.
Peanut butter balls.
IF YOU EVEN COME NEAR MY BALLS AGAIN I SWEAR TO GOD
the most romantic thing he could do for me right now would be to throw himself into traffic
I dont think getting to 3rd base with a girl you barely know is the type of memory they had in mind when they named the park "memorial park"
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
I kept screaming at his rabbit: "IT'S OKAY, YOU CAN HAVE SOME TRIX. FUCK THOSE SELFISH BITCHES."
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
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