I just watched a girl at work pick her nose with 4 of her 5 fingers. So I now know what sausage biscuits taste like in vomit form.
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
I'm driving to work with an ice pack on my vagina. how was your weekend?
So am i just your go-to 'i found a tick on my penis' number?
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
I was rolling balls and tried to donate blood as an act of kindness to the sick person who would receive it
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
Well I just masturbated while reading a recipe for Alfredo sauce so I guess you could say I’m growing up
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