I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
Mac n' cheese is coming out of my nose. You can't make that feel better
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
You tried to convince me you were sober by doing jumping jacks. For an hour.
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
Got drunk and passed out flintstone vitamins to everyone at the bar. I'm just so god damn motherly
All I've done for this 11 hour car ride is kegel and listen to our sex playlist so your dick better be good and ready
for not the first time in my life, my clothes are covered in piss and i'm standing in line waiting to buy pedialyte at a convenience store
Correction: Jimmy johns. The one pita pit employee has been an asshole to me ever since you locked them out of the store
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
Randomize