Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
It was awkward being the only one at the wedding who knows that the bride and groom met when she gave him a lap dance at a strip club
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
The doctor asked me what height I fell from to hurt my back.. I answered keg height
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
Going to rent a magician for when I eat shrooms. How has no one thought of this?
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
A warmed up burrito and jelly beans. The breakfast of champions.
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
I just convinced a telemarketer I live in a tree.
What did he say?
He still asked if I want a home security system.
Randomize
