I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
my sex list reads like a who's who of mcdonald's general managers
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
You need to tell your booty call to take some sudafed or something. I swear I thought you were humping Kermit the frog last night
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
New low reached: a cockroach has actually drowned itself in our dirty dishes. We are heathens. Cleaning dance party tonight. No excuses.
New low: eating a buttered roll while taking a shit.
This is why we're soulmates.
I could not add him. He gets 5 likes on Instagram.
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