Please don't tell anyone I peed on your wall.
apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
I couldn't sleep so I drunk ellipticaled for an hour. Worst. Idea. Ever.
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
Is singing the Indiana Jones theme while I put on the condom off limits?
I'm not the one who can lose their erection, so it's fair game
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
The only thing I'm asking santa for is my period.
And vodka?
And vodka.
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
Doing the walk of shame from the back of a Jeep to the porta potty it's parked next to while your dad watches is not what you want.
Randomize
