Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
Day two of vacation and my first drink of the day is a plan b colada
I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
Sorry I missed your call. Have a great morning.
That is a horrible way of saying good morning to someone. You basically reminded me that we did not hook up yesterday. It's bad enough I got to go to work all day with blue balls.
Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.
Dinner was cheetos vodka and whiskey. This is what happens when even your booty call breaks up with you.
I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
It's okay that we broke up and all but it's not okay that he still has my Chick-fil-A calendar card. This month is free fries!
dude wtf why are there forks in my wall
does "I AM MAGNETOOOO" ring any bells, because that was you for an entire hour last night
i woke up on someones kitchen floor, and i used the gps in my phone to find my way home. im really glad you forgot about me.
Randomize