You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
I had to download the flashlight app so I could finish taking a dump when the power went out.
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
So because I got upset you didn't answer I threw my phone in the garbage disposal last night
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
Wanna go on a picnic?
... by picnic I mean wanna sit on a blanket and drink with me?
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
Right now I'm laying face down on my carpet in my living room in the darkness sending work emails from my phone.
It's a glamorous life.
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