I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
Literally just as i started to cum the church bells next ot my house began to ring. either it was the most epic timing ever or god was watching and congratulating me
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
im just sayin im driving an hr to pick her up, just cause shes your gf doesnt mean i shouldnt be entitled to a bj
My "Week Of Not Checking Into OK Cupid So I Don't Hook Up With Another Fat Chick" lasted four hours. On the plus side, she was the smallest one yet.
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
But did u die
I found an onion in my purse
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
Did I tell you I’m going on a date? His name is Michael and we both like dinosaurs and anal.
"I mean like shit happens" should never be an excuse for anything
I’ve jerked off three times and taken five shits already today. Being hung over in your 40’s is a fucking roller coaster.
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