How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
i sold my breathalizer so i could buy weed
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
Chipotle just hit me... I want to go sit in the corner of the shower and cry until morning.
He showed me a picture of his baby hamsters and I called them "Mammal McNuggets"
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
This is my life. Enjoy the view
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
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