Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
Now we are really drunk and her 17 yr old cousin is shitfaced. He may or may not have proposed a toast to octopuses and double fisting. And we just drank to Mexico.
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
I dare you try and top an Eiffel tower full of Margarita
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
My roommate was tripping balls last night, he kept me up all fucking night
Roommate? Please tell me you're not calling your cat your roommate
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
I sent him this really overly apologetic text asking him out. It was just sad. Not even 27 shots of whiskey can grow me a self-esteem.
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
I'm hiding in the bathroom at the library but there are children here I just want to drunk cry in peace
Because sadly the idea of me having a girlfriend is crazy enough to be an April fools prank
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
Randomize
