best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
i convinced her i was a yoga teacher by showing her some warm-ups my high school track coach made up
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
Who was that couple sleeping in your bed with us last night?
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
That tingly feeling you're experiencing in your lady parts is my mustache. All the ladies of America are waking up feeling the same thing. You're welcome.
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS IS FOR YOU TO SHUT THE FUCK UP FOR ONCE
I don't know how to explain to you that you tried to recreate the bit from the Dana Carvey show where a guy dressed as Bill Clinton breastfeeds a bunch of puppies
Randomize
