No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
i swear to god, this restaurant is playing a john tesh cover of a song from aladdin
a drug dealer just gave me his business card. it had his face on it drinking a 40oz
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
Hey do you have a way to post bail? If not we can hook you up. If a police officer is reading this please ask him and respond in a timely fashion. I am concerned for my imprisoned friend
he was alternating between taking bites of butter and bagel. he said it was easier than finding a knife
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
I want you to know that the guy who peed in your bed got fat.
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
Randomize
