I woke up and she had breakfast in bed for me
RUN RUN RUN RUN
i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
Quick, to the slutcave!
If i off myself, it'll be in a lobster costume in the hot tub with butter...
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
Dude he's the best wing man ever. He starts creepin' on a woman, and she clings on to you out of fear.
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
I think I died and satan has brought me back to life and I'm paying for my sins with this hangover
I gave him head while despicable me 2 played in the background. I think I disappointed the minions
I was so high I kept trying to flush the toilet with the light switch
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
I don’t care that he’s a decade younger. He’s cute and I need a good penising
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