and while your girlfriend wears your relationship pants, i'll be wearing my ecstasy pants
You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
My body has become completely dependent on Text Twist. I can't poop without it.
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
The bad news is tonight is also a blue moon, ergo, latin, I will have to get 'once in a blue moon' drunk which I feel is significantly more dangerous than IPO drunk
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
I got really stoned and got my certification as an ordained minister. How productive has your day been?
Got kicked out of the club and woke up at a frat house. Good night? Couldn't tell you. I got a date out of it I'm glad someone thinks my drinking problem is cute.
Randomize
