Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
So I'm driving and this guy next to me at the stop light is reving his engine and honking at me. Motherfucker thinks that's because I'm asian and drive a honda I'm automatically going to race him
he said the way to his heart was through his stomach, i told him if he wanted to eat my food he had to eat my kitty
smooth operator
What can I say, he stumbled upon the key to my heart: orgasms and mac 'n cheese.
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
You know just sitting here carrying on a conversation with a 5 yr old about why there is puke at the landing of the staircase
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
She's been with the dude for a week saying she's in love. Yeah so am I. I just opened this beer 5 minutes ago and I LOVE IT ALREADY.
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
I've realized that my life is a cycle of high that is only broken by sobering up at work, which only happens because I can't smoke more
Randomize
