Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail
can we please take bets on how much therapy you'll need in the future?
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
Can you pick me up a bottle of make-an-ass-of-myself tonight?
Do you want cuervo gold or silver?
Rule number one to being a good adult: don't use your vagina as an icebreaker. Just some wisdom I thought I'd pass down from experience.
So... Really random... You know we only exist cause Dad misspelled 'perseverance', right?
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
Randomize