In honor of tonight, my penis will make an appearance
how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
She turned over and said "You smell like my dad, i just can't do this"
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
currently googling "apology gifts for when you poop on their floor"
In my defense, there are at least three ways to die doing that, and I'm still here. America, Fuck Yeah!
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌ðŸ»ï¸
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
yknow last night was like... the third night in a row alex woke me up to make sure i wasn't dead and tbh it's sorta sweet.
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
Randomize
