I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
P.S. It's common courtesy to let the girl your banging know if she's about to walk into the same place your girlfriend is at so she can get her poker face ready
Okay do all 29 year olds have erectile dysfunction or just the two I've slept with?
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
Are you sure he's still you're boyfriend when you're sober?
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
last night I learned that if you try to buy tacos in this town, that you will be stopped by three cop cars with breathalizers
Dude, fuck these noisy kids, fuck all this light, and fuck you for getting to sleep while I have to be productive and hungover.
Despite how often it occurs, I have absolutely no interest in having sex with myself
Randomize
