This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
I'm sorry for coming into your work place and trying to smuggle you out in my purse.
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
I miss waking up, opening the closet downstairs, and finding you inside passed out.
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
what is it with giant penises always finding me
She was indeed spoonfeeding you potato salad out of that giant bowl with a giant spoon. Dont feel special, she was giving it to everyone that left the bar.
No clues in my phone. Only dialed call: my own social security number. And that was before 10:00pm.
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
I’m sorry my lady boner messed up your mojo!!
Randomize
