Our house smells like week old pizza, beer cans, cigarettes, and depressing career tracks....get lysol.
I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
Take one last look at my face, because I'm drinking it off tonight.
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
I'm gagging in the liquor aisle just thinking about how much alcohol I'll be drinking this weekend.
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
Worst case scenario, I put a giant cork in your vagina so you don't give birth before my birthday
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
Wanna get business drunk and go play golf?
If you ever get divorced...would you call me??
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
Randomize
