I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
I'm wearing boardshorts as underwear to work. This is bachelorhood
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
I figured it out. If I have at least 4 shots of vodka before I start my day, EVERY day will be a good day.
I got drunken sympathy for the whales' plight last night and signed up to give $50 monthly to Greenpeace. Calling to cancel was worse than the hangover.
Hear that? That's the wail of a dying whale. Murderer.
Taking a shit on the side of the road is not how I imagined this morning would start.
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
he apologises profusely for spelling mistakes in his texts but doesn't care about cheating on me. priorities
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
yknow last night was like... the third night in a row alex woke me up to make sure i wasn't dead and tbh it's sorta sweet.
My ultimate hope is that people will hug me, smell me, and therefore think I'm classy.
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
Randomize