"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
I accidentally lit my hair on fire and we broke the bed. How was your night?
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
HURRY. I NEED DRUNK. MORE DRUNK.
Two ladies just showed up with my fucking purse. It was in the fucking street. I'm a train wreck. As a financial advisor, this shouldn't happen. I should be an adult.
I have bruises all over my body. Seriously, I'm a train wreck. I'm too damn old for hangovers like this.
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
I just got free tacos, you would be so proud of me.
Clarification, I got free tacos without performing any sexual favors.
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
Randomize
