I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
Literally everyone in the bar was absolutely hammered out of their minds. I swear I even saw the bartender swigging jd when he thought no one was looking. And there was me thinking Britain was the booziest nation in the world.
Welcome to America. You're gonna love it.
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
I just can't promise there won't be a reason to hit you in the face with a dildo again in the future.
Guess who just got caught by mall security having sex in a car in the parking lot... at noon. This chick.
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
I swear to god, I'm like....the Jedi master of dick.
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
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