But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
When we started taking double shots of vodka and chasing it with a lick of fruit roll-ups, I knew there'd be hell to pay in the morning.
she pulled the sheets over her head to blow me but the static kept making little lightning bolts and I was too high and got really scared she was going to electrocute me.
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
Apparently I was holding on to a pizza crust for hours last night.
College: when you have to set an alarm to start drinking
A girl just asked me if we had pregnancy tests and a coworker had to stop me from telling her I was a pregnancy test. THAT is why I don't drink at work.
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
You’d probably be happy to know that I think I’ve mastered the skill of knowing “my type” and then steering clear
FINALLY. I THOUGHT THIS DAY WOULD NEVER COME!
Randomize
