Her mom drove me home after I blew a .13 So there I am wishing her mom a happy mother's day sitting in the passenger seat where I just banged her daughter 15 min prior
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
Just left some random in my bed to go get mcdonalds breakfast. I'd say my priorities are on point.
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
I just watched the lion king for the first time in years. It's like the equivalent of a really good blow job.
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
I won't let penises inside me if you won't let tequila inside you, deal?
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
That awkward moment when you're drunk enough to crave cocaine, but you're sober enough to know it's only Tuesday.
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
Randomize
