New requirements. My future husband must have a nose ring and wear headbands.
We are no longer friends.
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
I'm not sure what happened last night, but my turtle seems afraid of me.
She made out with me for a free sandwich. What makes you think she is NOT up to my standards?
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
I got a dollar bill stuffed into my bra on two separate occasions by two separate guys simply for having boobs. I feel like somewhere god is patting himself on te back while pointing at me goin "you're welcome dude." easiest two bucks I ever made.
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
She insisted on cleaning her room in the dark. 5 minutes in, she forgot what she was doing and started putting shirts on instead of hanging them up.
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
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