He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
I woke up this morning and was hoping we drank enough last night to have a unicorn drawn on my wrist. Good News: We did.
Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
I knew he was a nice guy, because when we switched positions he flipped the mattress so I wouldn't have to lay in a pool of his sweat.
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
I told my dad that bagels were the equilelent of angels kisses and if he bought me one i would do a split
Fucked Zombie Jesus at a Halloween party. I need Plan B before I give birth to the Antichrist.
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
Someone called asking about the gate code and I said "hashtag" for # instead of "pound." Ugh. I feel so dirty.
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
I had a dream I hooked up with Post Malone. I can still smell the dream
Randomize
