Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(716): View more from New York

Dude I think you forgot how to talk last night. We kept asking if you wanted a condom and you just smiled and made weird noises...

Fav 13 5793 1007
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(520): View more from Arizona

Dude I'm drinking a martini out of a water bottle, I've become my parents.

Fav 5 4579 1468
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(917): View more from New York City

It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.

Fav 11 3379 1717
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(303): View more from Colorado

Note to self: never do anything I don't want to explain to a paramedic

Fav 10 3861 1185
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(785): View more from Kansas

One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know

Fav 14 2205 3589
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(847): View more from Illinois

I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.

Fav 3 2702 1580
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(210): View more from Texas

If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.

Fav 7 2783 1257
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(404): View more from Georgia

I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.

Fav 2 1105 436
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(913): View more from Kansas

I passed out in your bed last night...there maybe a snickers and twix bar under your pillow

Fav 0 27 3
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