I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
"auto-tuned camel" is how i'd describe the noises she made
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
I have been sober for so long that I miss hangovers... what is happening to this summer?
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
I preemptively put on a cape before eating a bunch of weed brownies. Best decision ever.
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
I ripped my favorite bra in half last night while I was undressing in a drunken rage.
What was the rage all about?
He wouldn't stop to let me get McDonald's french fries.
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
Randomize
