I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
On the couch having a debate with the dog over whether eating anothr sweet roll will make the hangover better or worse
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
She told me my dick looked like a baby seal wrapped in a sleeping bag.
She said pants are for pussies while spooning peanut butter onto her frosted flakes with a serving spoon. She's not even high yet.
My signature move is making guys wonder why they bothered in the first place
you know it was a successful halloween when you wake up and have a firecracker in your tits
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
Can’t. Tonight’s a netflix and dick night
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