but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
that's like riding a pigeon when you could fuck a bald eagle
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
My mom just looked at me while watching the fireworks and asked if it reminded me of how I felt after sex. I'm so uncomfortable.
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
my dad is now demonstrating how to start a fire with a tampon. happy fucking new year!
The EMT told me when I left the ER "I'd like to take off your pants again and inspect your package. Just not during a medical emergency..." We're hooking up tonight.
Points for getting a hot hook up after getting a shard of glass in your thigh. Almost makes it worth it.
I spent the last 6 months operating under the assumption that I HADNT fucked a paramedic. I was wrong.
Last night I was introduced as the Picasso of getting fucked up so I obviously had to live up to it by chugging long islands
I figured you were on something. You're way too happy right now to be sober
I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do
enjoy it.
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
So...I know we have a conversation later this week. But one of the key things I want to know is if I can specify having my body mummified and buried in Egypt (or at least nearby the Luxor in Vegas). How much money do you think that would cost? Do I need to increase my life insurance policy?
Randomize
