How'd it feel making her break her religion?
if i see another status about New Moon, i'm gonna punch a baby
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
The used rubbers I threw behind her bed all semester must have landed on the baseboard heater. They went up in smoke when she turned on the heat last night.
Then I hope you find a set of extremely intelligent, flexible triplets in the ethnicity of your choice.
That is the nicest thing anyone has ever wished for me
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
Just found my socks folded and in the back pocket of my jeans. Apparently drunk me refuses to lose shit after the panties incident over New Years.
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
Hungover on St. Patrick's Day. I did this backwards.
Give it up bro. I’m not wearing pants or a bra and only an act of god could change that
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
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