4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
two words: fractured penis. two more: emergency room.
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
All I could think of during that funeral was how great I look in a suit, how creepy catholics are, and how horny I am.
I feel bad for her, but I feel like she's one of those resource-raping alien civilizations that visits planets, decimates them and then leaves. Those really aren't the qualities I appreciate in a friend. Ya know?
Really stoned me is having a very serious, intent conversation with my mom about egg rolls and koolaid flavors.
I may or may not have puked in the ladies room. Now I get to convince my client to go to substance abuse treatment. Oh, the irony.
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
I'm like bob the builder except I'm fixing boners.
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
Randomize
