TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
Having a pigeon watch you poop is just creepy. Drunk or not.
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
She text me that night and asked how the dick was and I quote my drunk self "average at best"
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
Randomize
