I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
there's a booger on my laptop, i suspect it's yours
I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
So after I pop out this baby we need to just go on a monthlong coke binge so I can get skinny again before vegas
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
I just called him "young grasshopper" in a conversation. THIS is why I don't get numbers when I'm sober
I'm in the city buying alcohol. I just got warned by a homeless man on the street that I shouldn't look so pretty "in these parts"
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
The taxi driver was going on about how many drunk chicks want to sleep with him when he drives them home. Not sure if he was bragging or hinting
possible new low: just washed a permanent marker penis off my cheek with porta-potty hand sanitizer.
also if this is gonna be a sample of how country jam will be, I might as well break up with him now. he spent the night blacked out and I could have been in a three-some.
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
Randomize
