the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
i'm dressed up like the coppertone baby and being hit on a guy in a monk costume. the irony is not lost on me.
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
If I had a dollar for every time i woke up screaming for my pants i"d have enough money to buy all the beer I stole last night.
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
What do you take me for? I'm not trying to lure you into bed with stories of my dead aunt.
Some days you ride the struggle bus. Other days, it gets a flat, the AC breaks, and you run over a bunny.
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
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