i just wanna soil my oats bro
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
Come on. I'll make you hot pockets. Literally and sexually.
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
my ex logged me out of his netflix so im gonna fuck his bestfriend as revenge
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
Slowly dying because of my period and my phone is mocking me because I have 69% battery
Randomize
