just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
in respone to your voicemail you left me on saturday, yes i had gone to bed and no i was not still drinking at 5am
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
This weekend has taught me that sometimes, being buried under a mattress is the safest place in the room.
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
You shouted, "LOOK I'M HAWKEYE," and beaned mike with a dildo from across the room.
I have a pair of clean panties in my purse. This is having your life together.
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
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