He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
So shortly after drunk sex...she starts crying and saying..." you don't care about me, you never do anything nice for me" so I called her a cab
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
my roommate just showed up covered in dirt, drunk....with a whole ice cream cake that says "it's a girl".
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
He asked me not to hook up with anyone else because it would hurt his feelings.. while his arm was around his pregnant girlfriend.
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
I've literally NEVER been on a date or gotten through one episode of netflix without having sex like I JUST WANT TO WATCH TRUE DETECTIVE
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
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