I can't watch pbs sober anymore
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
Why do you think it's a no-pants party?
Invite says "dress to impress". Her fault for leaving it open to interpretation.
I'm wearing a real bra and real shoes. I look like a fucking lady.
Also I'm at the pub and there are old lady pirates gyrating on a pole. I wish you were here.
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
NOT ALL OF US HAVE THE HANDS OF GODDAMN ANGELS YOU KNOW
Too much dab too little lung dying šµšµšµ
Listen, you can either give me drugs or an orgasm. You decide.
In this house, we have but one simple rule: DONT FUCKIN TOUCH MY STUFF OR I'LL CUT YOUR NECK IN UR SLEEP
Randomize
