I hate ducks.
What?
they're sketch. like squirrels. squirrels are sketch as fuck.
Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
He did the "not my house dance." Apparently it involves spreading cereal on the floor and then grinding into the carpet in bare feet while singing "not my house" over and over and dancing.
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
Just because im a good person doesn't mean that I don't reserve the right to be a complete dick about it.
Until she magically finds a brain, I'm going to be a dick. Fair trade. She's a idiot, I'm an ass.
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
Can my mom come with to the bar? Prince just died and I feel like I need to take her out to cheer her up.
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
Randomize
