woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
I lost control in the snow and hit a parked car. I went into our building to get a pen and paper to leave a note and when I came back the car was gone and there was a hot girl there. I used the pen and paper to get her number.
I need to write the inventor of adderall a thank you note stapled to a copy of my degree
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
You talked about giving to sperm banks on a first date. What did you expect?
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
let’s be honest I’d fucking Irish step dance on your grave, asshole
My cat just tried to lay on my stomach while I was masturbating. And I let her because I am so starved for affection.
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
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