three words: i give head
three words: not that well
Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
It feels like a bunch of leprechauns are using my brain as a soccer ball
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
I can assure you I didn't go home with a girl, because I woke up on someone's porch
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
I felt like a slutty ass cruella devil driving your old car, And I got in a fight with your wipers
"Here let me wipe my uterus off your dick" was probably the most unsexy thing said after period sex. I should get an award
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
Randomize
