did you get engaged???
here I sit at Southern Illinois' finest pubs and I thought I heard your laugh. I was sadly astonished to turn and find a midget cracking herself up reading the label on her can of chewing tobacco...
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
I just had a dream where Bob Saget recognized me from when I hung out with him in a dream I had months ago.
Have you ever seen a midget fist pump? BEST. THING. EVERRRRR.
Worst part of St. Paddy's...me drunkenly crying to a U2 cover band.
but he used his one phone call to call mom and wish her happy mothers day, that's gotta count for somethin
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
Please note: when a bouncer tells you to leave, pointing out that their career path makes them a much better judge what to do will not make you friends
I would totally lead with that as a line.'So, I was on Legends of the Hidden temple as a kid.. Your place or mine?'
Your niece just basically announced she's a whore on FB so you should feel pretty good about officiating that wedding next month.
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
Randomize
