So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
Guess what? I had way too much to drink today. I'm properly wasted. Doing chores and playing video games while drunk. It's the nexus of stupidity and responsibility.
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
the black eye was caused by a 12 year old girl in a vampire costume who punched you in the face after you aggresively screamed "TEAM JACOB!" in her face & howled at the moon...
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
I believe its time to stop celebrating Thanksgiving. I've been drunk for over a week. If my liver doesn't give out, and I'm not pregnant I will truly have something to be thankful for.
I found a lucrative side business - giving rides home to drunk oil executives. Very profitable.
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
Dude, putting on underwear straight out of the dryer is the greatest thing ever. It feels like I wrapped my vagina in a warm blanket.
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
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