spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
Escaped ambulance. Meet me at your apartment.
1 month til my stepdad becomes a u.s. citizen, so if you want to get in on the divorce pool its your last chance, $5 a square.
She showed up to the party with a live octopus and a 30 pack that was already half gone
Laying on my kitchen floor and the lights just got brighter... I just died or there was a power surge. Based on the amount of booze I drink both are possible.
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
Someone snapchat me a pic of you topless laying on the bar with Scotty pouring a bottle of tequila down your throat. IT'S NOT EVEN ELEVEN YET.
School starts next week
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
He's finally divorcing her, so naturally he tells me that we're not exclusive anymore. His penis 'wants what it wants' apparently.
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
Randomize
