I'm holding in my pee so that I can hear "Cowboy" in its entirety on the radio
When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
Woman at starbucks on her computer with a garbage bag of popcorn and a bottle of lotion. Where are you coming from?!
I DONT WANT YOUR DICK. I WANT BRUNCH.
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
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