Apparently you make a good broom.
i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
The only reason why I invited him to my party was because he is suicidal.
there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
Are you available to help carry me into the house Monday?
Please save me from this creative non fiction class. I just wrote a paper about how I spend unhealthy amounts of time with my cat.
I spend unhealthy amounts of time watching RuPaul's Drag Race.
I referred to the cat as amicable.
You asked the waitress what the corking fee would be on the Joose you smuggled into the restaurant.
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
Last night I dreamed that I got eaten out by Lego Harry Potter.
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
I peed in Andys sink the other day bc I didnt want him to hear me pee
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
Randomize
