forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
Squirrels and blue jays and dove-like things. They're just frolicking around in my backyard. I wanna be like them.
mom just asked if we are going to need more kaluha as she pulls 5 out of the cupboard. this xmas might kill me
I fell asleep with all the lights and heat on in the apartment with windows open, Earth Hour is lost on people like me.
Do you remember calling me a cuntasaurus rex last night?
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
Due to the events of st patties day last year I created a moral and ethical policy so that I won't get kicked out of the bar again. It mostly consists of not wearing pants so then I don't take them off at the bar.. and subsequently get kicked out.
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
I’m vetoing meatball margaritas right out the gate. We can’t have people throwing up again!
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