In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
dude facebook disabled my account because im registered under a false identity. now in order to get it back, i have to prove that it's really my name. i sent them an email and had to sign it "Cordially, Lloyd Pancakes"
Pls don't use the words alligator, purple, and sperm in the same sentence ever again.
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
sticking your hands in the toilet to wash your face is not acceptable. ever. i don't care how drunk you are.
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
Best surprise in my car. A cookie, sliced kiwi and the rest of my margarita. Work is going to be awesome.
Getting a vibrator would be like waving the white flag of surrender in this war against my vagina and its hormone army.
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
I was so drunk that I passed out before I could do or say anything I'd regret. My low alcohol tolerance is like a guardian angel.
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
Would it kill us to punctuate. That last text took me 5 min to read
Randomize
