so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
I don't know how this happened but I got an email thanking me for being a Waffle House regular. HOW DO THEY KNOW?? Maybe I need to stop going there shitfaced.
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
this boner is fucking legendary. i should name it and celebrate its birthday every year
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
One minute you were celebrating, the next you were bleeding all over your Nikes.
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
I truly wish I could say I pulled my groin straddling our cab driver but unfortunately I cannot
You know it's really hard to draft fantasy football players in a crowded bar when I have a raging hard on
Drunk sperm are not productive sperm.
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
Randomize
