I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
My grandma paid her handyman in pain killers. I now know why this is in my genes
pretty sure I offered to blow her dad. she's not speaking to me & he won't stop winking at me.
Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
My gut is currently telling me that Jesus did not intend for us to eat shrimp pad thai on Easter
Is this a considering it or regretting it text?
I just shit out what feels like an entire shrimp with claws and all. You tell me.
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
You're like my little fucked up version of the groundhog seeing its shadow, only it's boobs and warm weather.
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
That's why my boobs are so big, they're full of secrets.
The only words we could get out of him as he stared catatonically into space were "Everyone I know and love is dead"
Randomize
