just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
This time, try to not get fingered in the middle of the living room.
I DIDNT GET FINGERED
I was rubbed
So basically, I've just woken up in another random bed and I go to get my pants and he's wearing them. Like my underwear is in them... What the fuck is wrong with my life?
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
Last night he told me I was never sexier than when I was cutting pizza. Seriously. Like, he's perfect.
I've turned into a small time drug dealer, now who's the real MVP.
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
Woke up snuggling with a large wooden rhino that I stole last night...obviously, we had fun.
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
Randomize
