I think I just was a dick to Paul Rudd.
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
Imagine a baby lion feeding on an injured gazelle and it tasting fresh blood for the first time. That's me and this breakfast sammich
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
I guess she thought her walk of shame would be more dignified if she stole my dog
The cop told me to answer for everyone if there was drinking involved and then i threw up in my Luigi's italian ice that i was eating with a pizza slicer
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
Gonna open a taco bell in colorado. Millions bro.
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
And I just want you to know I got myself into this mess. I gotta get myself out. Plus, don't you only need one kidney?
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
And the view of you in reverse cowgirl is arguably the most spectacular view ever... And I've seen the Eiffle tower, the colosseum, mountains of Hawaii, Michaelangelo's David, and the Mona Goddamn Lisa. Just saying.
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
Randomize
