I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?
I just remembered that i did pull ups in a bikini on the porch of Red Lobster last night. someone needs to stage an intervention
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
Flatmate got laid for the first time in 3 years. I'm baking a cake.
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
I just wanted to personally thank you for throwing clementine slivers at me across the room while we made out
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
Somehow my life has turned in to drug deals at the bar, and illegally camping on a mountain because I have no where else to live.
Randomize