I wish my penis had an off switch
I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
even after i explained my bobby knight costume the bartender still kicked me out for throwing the chair
My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
You kept making up "snapple facts" every time you opened a beer.
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
I feel like as your wife, as cool with your decision-making skills as I usually am, there should be a bigger explanation to you adopting a child while I'm in Houston.
My mom just sent me this: "I like Jon, but he needs to be the one going down on you! Yeah, we saw your head pop up in your car last night."
We exchanged snapchat usernames instead of numbers. Is that what America has come to?
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
You were mean to me and you broke my heart and hurt my feelings. You dont get to talk to me about Peter Dinklage
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
Please come pick up your twin. She's tap dancing in her underwear and that's not how you want yourself represented.
Randomize
